December 2010
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Laura: I wonder if I was really hairy...
While petting Jake the Dog
Me: Merry Christmas Auntie! (translated from Mandarin)
Laura: It's her birthday?
Laura and her amazingly poor Mandarin
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Mom: I’m making my dumplings tonight.
Laura: Whyyyyy?
Mom: BECAUSE I WANT TO. Being in this family has made me lose my identity!
Mom insisting on making jiu cai filled dumplings, which no one in our family likes except her.
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Last night I had a dream about thrifting in Myron Taylor Hall. I think I’ve been away from home for too long. 24 hours and I’ll be sitting in my last exam, 36 hours and I’ll be home for a month. At this point, I don’t really care how prepared I am for Contracts, I just want to get. it. over. with.
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I’ve found that I have a short memory for painful things. 2 down, 2 to go.
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Adam on tabbing:
If my mom were here, she could tab for me and I could just go to bed.
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On his Civ Pro supplement obtained from Inter-Library loan:
Ben: It says it’s from Umpqua Community College…which is probably in the middle of Bumble-fuck, Nowhere…just like this town
Turns out Umpqua Community College is in Oregon.
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You've been served (notes from civ pro)
Concerning a potential defendant who managed to continually avoid service of process:
On the potential defendant’s birthday, a process serving company sent a stripper to his birthday party. The stripper then stripped down to her underwear in which she was hiding his “birthday card” (the summons) which he then took out with his teeth.
Concerning a band that was particularly...
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Real transcript from Civ. Pro. powerpoint
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient still have been alive...
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First law school final exam today featured a question about a Christmas tree farm.
After we were done, I thought I’d never have to think about Torts again and decided to take some time off by watching yesterday’s episode of Glee.
And where do Finn and Rachel end up singing their fucking ballad of the week? At a Christmas tree farm. Meh.
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